Things Couldn't Get Any Worse
by AmandaArtiste
Summary: FINISHED! A fic written by Aron Delia97 and AmandaArtiste. Agent R's about to experience the worst day of his life when an alien gangster claims to be his old flame. RR
1. Part 1

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

A Fiction from Aron and Amanda

Part One

In a world where the weird, strange, and unusual was a daily fact of life, things never seemed to end. There was always aliens, always humans, and when the two collided unexpectedly, there was trouble. 

Yet in a world where there was trouble when humans and aliens met and knew they were aliens and they were humans, there was one place on Earth where it was nothing more than a coffee break, paperwork, or a meeting. This was Men In Black HQ. 

HQ spanned a grand area that was never really totally known to anyone. Not even Zed could really know how far it all ran. From being under LaGuardia airport to popping up in small locations in the city, the MIB were everywhere, all the time. Hallways spanned for eternity in Headquarters. 

On this day, humans and aliens met, and it was nothing more than an office meeting. The usual business. 

Agent R walked down the hall as his partner complained about paperwork. 

"I don't see why we have to even BE there." She grumbled as she checked off some information in her folder. "We've got files to file, and knowing Klah'Mikk, he's just going to lose them before Zed knows it's been done, and THEN we'll hear about it!" she continued. Agent R yawned. 

"I didn't get any sleep last night." Said R. "That's the last time I get sucked into watching human sport shows. They're strangely addicting!" he complained. "One team gets the ball, the others run after him, and then they kick it through these post things and…"

"And you shouldn't try to follow the run to the Superbowl with Jay because he usually never misses a game…"

"And once you start eating that…. Pizza stuff, you can't stop! About a million toppings and I have no clue what they are… half of it looks like it's not indigenous to this planet and…" he began. His partner cut in.

"That's because it isn't. I have a theory and one of these day's I'll find the paperwork that confirms that anchovies are from another galaxy." She finished. They got to the office door where they'd have a meeting. The two sighed. 

"I don't know why Lyndon needs to make such a bother out of everything." Said R. "I don't see what the problem with aliens rights is. I'm here, I've had no troubles with anyone…" he began. He looked at his partner who was flipping through a notebook. "Especially you…" he continued as his heart floated. She looked up and R had that dopey look on his face when he was daydreaming. She smacked him with the folder.

"You know why Lyndon makes such a pain out of everything? Your cousin. He gave Agent X to us and I know he did that on purpose to make our lives and jobs harder, and Lyndon loves to harp on the fact that he had a hold on the MIB for a short time and he won't ever let it go."

  
"Well… I guess I can see that." Said R as the two walked into the meeting office. They sat down at the long rectangular table and R yawned as he looked at his watch. This would take forever. Zed and Lyndon came in and were already arguing. 

Thirty minutes into the meeting, Lyndon was already going on and on to persuade Zed to hire more agents like Agent X. Zed saw where this was going. 

"Lyndon… Agent X is a good agent but right now we don't have a need for any more employees, human OR alien. I appreciate your concern for the planet." Said Zed, who was already tired of running his voice out over Lyndon. It never seemed that Lyndon stopped… EVER. 

"I do understand, Zed, but do you see how important it is to make sure you have enough agents so everything runs smoothly?" 

"Any more agents and they'll be running into each other left an right. We're working and right now there are no employment problems."

"It would be wise to employ more extraterrestrials…" began Lyndon.

"We've got Klah'Mikk." Said Zed. Lyndon stopped arguing about that indirect point. 

While the discussions continued, Agent R looked around and saw the other agents growing tired of this. Some looked as if they were about to fall asleep. R remembered how tired he was and slowly started to fall asleep. His eyes got heavy and the babbling of Zed and Lyndon faded out. As things faded from hearing and sight, R started to dream about his partner. He smiled slightly in his sleep. He was happy and was getting the sleep he lost when all of a sudden, his sleep was broken.

"AGENT R!" yelled Delia in his ear. She smacked R with the folder she had with her. R jolted awake.

"Ahh! What'd I miss?" he asked. Lyndon and Zed were loudly arguing. R saw Kay sitting there filling out paperwork. Jay slept away and Elle did the paperwork and X joined in visiting the world of sleep. Neither Zed nor Lyndon noticed. R grumbled and sat through the rest of the meeting. 

When things were finally over, the other agents woke up and everyone filed out of the office. 

"Sheesh, those things get more pointless every time." Said Delia. 

"I could have slept through it all." Said R, reminiscing about the dream he almost had. 

"I know…" she said. "And that's why I had to wake you up! Zed would have killed us both if he had noticed." She added. "So, R, what were you dreaming about for about three minutes. You had a dopey smile on your face." She joked. 

"Uh… HEY! Speaking of Zed…" said R as Zed stopped the two. R sighed in relief of not having to tell Delia what he was daydreaming about. 

"I want to see you in my office in about half an hour." Said Zed. The two nodded as Zed headed to his office. Delia elbowed R.

"I sure hope it's not about your little nap!" she said.

"Yeah… me too." Said R. 

"C'mon." she said. "Let's go file that report from yesterday's little incident with Jeebs. The last thing I want is for Klah'Mikk to take it and lose it on us." She added. With that, the two headed downstairs to the main floor of Headquarters. 

________________________________________________________________________


	2. Part 2

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

By: Amanda and Delia 

Part 2

Aliens were constantly landing and departing in the city of New York. Many of them passed legally through MIB HQ. Some with not so legal intentions…

Fatail was just such an alien. She watched the other agents from an unnoticed corner of HQ. She was the leader of a female gang back in Rizphil 7 and fed up with the lack of respect her gender got. Just what did a girl gang have to do to earn a little fear and recognition in the universe?!

Well, she was going to change the way her gang was thought of and the MIB was going to help her do it. Her gang would make a fortune selling the top secret information and technology that she'd be able to steal from this super secret organization. Being a shape shifter, she'd have an excellent advantage over their security precautions. All she'd have to do would be to single out a particular agent to get herself close enough to obtain the goods.

Her scanner skimmed across all the agents as they passed by. Many of them were stiff humans bent on saving the Earth, a waste of her time. She'd have to find a special patsy to fall victim to her brilliant plan. Someone like…him!

A new agent walked by staring at his partner as she went on about how anchovies originated from another planet and there was some big cover-up to make sure that no one found out. Her partner didn't seem to be paying as much attention to what she was saying as to what she looked like. What a pushover.

Better than that, he wasn't even a human! Her scanner showed that this agent was actually an alien in disguise. Perfect. "Well what do we have here? A JeeDangian parading around in a human suit? Looks like fair game to me." shifting into a JeeDangian form with short purple hair she stuffed her scanner back into her leather pouch and took off towards poor unsuspecting R.

"Sweetie!" she squealed happily and threw her arms around his neck, "So this is where you've disappeared to!"

"Huh?" R gasped as she planted a kiss on his cheek.

Delia shot R a suspicious glance, she'd never pictured him as a ladies' man.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone else. I've never met you before in my life!" R explained hastily as he pried her arms off him.

"Oh don't you dare think you can hide from me big boy." Fatail remarked slyly. "I can see right through that human disguise." 

R was about to object but she snatched his mask away and hid it playfully behind her back, "There's my handsome JeeDangian hunk."

Delia couldn't stop herself from snickering as R tried to grab back his mask, "Looks like she knows you partner."

"That's right agent," Fatail continued, "this alien and I have quite a history together. Only, he disappeared on me when he got a new job."

"So you just blew her off?" Delia asked.

"I swear Del," R stuttered, "I've never seen her before. She's making all this up!"

"Then how'd she know you were an alien?" Delia persisted.

"I--" R didn't really have an answer for that.

"You're so cute when you're confused," Fatail giggled and tickled his chin.

"Stop that!" R snapped. This was awful! This psycho woman was gonna ruin his chances with Delia forever, what had he done to deserve this?

The two agents were still on their way to Zed's office with Fatail fawning over R when Jay met them in the hall. He took one look at R and Fatail and HAD to say something, "Old flame huh?"

R glared at the agent, this was the LAST thing he needed right now.

"You sure do know how to handle em." he praised the alien as the new female smothered him with crimson kisses.

Jay grinned and went on his way, planning to tell the first agent he ran into ALL about R and his old flame's visit. Maybe he'd get REALLY lucky and bump into X! Then he'd have to run and tell half the agency about how his cousin had finally developed a good taste in women.

R had never been so humiliated in his entire life. Fatail was thrilled at how well her plan was working out. Delia decided to question Antonio the next time she and R were at his pizza parlor to see what he knew about anchovies. 

________________________________________________________________________


	3. Part 3

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse: A Fiction from Aron and Amanda

Part 3: By Aron

Agent R didn't know what was going on. Some alien obviously mistook his identity and was causing all sorts of trouble. R followed his partner, Agent Delia, up to Zed's office. R tried to get rid of the female hanging off of him but he couldn't shake her, and she kept insisting that they were in love. 

Agent Delia walked in as she always did, but Zed stopped and looked up as R came in, with some woman hanging off of him. 

He had managed to get his human disguise back on but he was covered with lipstick marks. Zed cleared his throat.

"Agent R?" he said.

"I have NO CLUE who she is--- HONEST!" spouted out Agent R. Fatail cooed into his ear. 

"How can you say that, sweetie?" she said. R rolled his eyes. Agent Jay came in with one thing to ask Zed and laughed when he saw R's situation. Zed was puzzled and Delia was tired of it already. 

"Old flame…" said Jay. Zed grumbled and nodded and ignored the scene as best he could. 

"Agents, Lyndon has been pestering me to hire new agents, but I can't possibly do that right now. He's agreed to get off the subject temporarily because I've got some new agents that were in training before the meeting. Those agents will be joining the populous before I go hiring ANYONE at all, alien OR human." Said Zed. Agent Delia nodded as Zed continued. "I have one agent I'd like to integrate and I want someone to be his partner so he can get the feel for things around HQ. I would have one of my more main-agents do it but since people have work to do, I've decided to let one of you two take care of the agent." He said. He looked at the two agents. The green alien still practically hung off of R, who tried desperately to get rid of her. Agent Delia… well, Agent Delia hadn't caused any major trouble lately, but was probably due for some. He sighed. What. A. Choice. He spoke. "Well… since agent R is… 'busy'," he began, "I will assign you to him." Zed said to Del. She nodded as Zed pressed a button. "Take a seat." Said Zed. "It might be a minute." He added as the three sat down. Fatail was practically on R's lap. R grumbled and shoved her away as he picked up his chair and moved to the other side of Agent Delia. A moment passed before the new agent came in.

"You requested my presence, sir?" asked the agent. 

"Agent Delia, this is Agent Gee." Said Zed. Agent Gee turned and got a look at his new partner and instantly, R knew something was up. 

Agent Gee was handsome. More than just any handsome, he was _handsome. _He had a 'smart-yet-cute' look to him. R had heard Del fawn over some movie actors in a magazine she had gotten. 'Gee' fit the perfect description. R narrowed his eyes as Gee sat down in the chair that was between Del and Fatail. He took his new partner's hand in his own.

"Already there are perks to the job." He said. R picked up his chair and dragged it closer to Delia and forward so Gee could see him. He shot Gee a grim look over Delia.

Gee had light brown hair, but in the light, streaks of gold could be seen. His eyes were like crystal and from every aspect, it seemed Gee was… perfect. 

"I hope you learn a lot and hopefully I can assign you a permanent partner so you can get out there and protect the Earth from the Scum of this Galaxy and beyond." Said Zed. Fatail narrowed her eyes and laughed inside at what was just said. She sat now in the presence of the head of the MIB. 

Gee heard what Zed had said about being assigned a permanent partner after this but he smiled slyly to Agent R and spoke to Zed, ignoring the anger in R's eyes. 

"Oh… I think we'll work out just fine…" said Gee. "Things might work out better than we think." He added. Zed was happy something was going right and dismissed the agents. As Delia and Gee left the office, R stayed on their heels. 

"So, Del… do you want to go and get some pizza tonight?" he asked Delia. "We can find out from Antonio about the Anchovies." He added. Gee glared at R. He walked around and began talking. 

"Agent Delia and I are going to tour Headquarters." He said. "Isn't that right…. Del." He said. R was fuming mad. No one this new could dare call her Del. Delia nodded as she looked at some information. 

"Yeah, R…. I have to show Gee around." She said as she looked up at her new partner. The light glinted off his eye and she stopped and realized… her heart floated. She laughed at the thought. Gee began to walk a little faster and Delia kept up as Fatail stopped and wrapped her arms around Agent R. He grumbled and threw her arms off. 

"Will you STOP IT??" he demanded angrily. She smiled. 

"I love it when you're angry!" she said. "You're so cute!" she added. He sighed. Things were not good. He kept an eye on his partner, Agent Delia. R didn't like the looks of Gee at all, and he wasn't going to let that new agent take his partner away. Not now. 

________________________________________________________________________


	4. Part 4

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse By: Delia and Amanda

Part 4 By: Amanda

Inside the kitchenette the Worm Guys busily brewed pot after pot of delicious, steaming hot coffee. Elle and Delia were a little too preoccupied by Agent Gee to pay any notice to the enticing aroma floating in the air.

"Wow," Elle murmured to her friend, "you're right. He IS cute."

"Told ya," Delia answered, "he's athletic, handsome, charming, a good cook, the man has no faults! Looks like I finally hit the jackpot!"

"Well…if you like that sort of thing," R grumbled.

Jay waltzed into the room and noticed the two blondes drooling over the new guy. "Uh Elle, Delia, Zed says he wants the two of you down in the lab pronto. There's been kind of a crisis down there with some new invention the Doc and Zeeltor are testing."

The two agents reluctantly got up and left the room. Hopefully it wouldn't take long to complete the task and get back to the hunk of burning agent flipping through the lifestyles section of the newspaper.

Once Gee's fan club was gone Jay pulled up a seat next to the sulking R. "Gee's really buggin' ya huh?"

R didn't answer, at least Fatail was nowhere in sight. Maybe R would loosen up a little and get some things off his chest. Jay'd hate to be the unlucky agent that had to pry him off 'pretty boy' if all that anger was suddenly unleashed.

"I see your old flame's not around."

Through gritted teeth R finally spoke, "She's NOT my old flame. And I finally got Fatail to leave me alone for two seconds. And **YES** Gee is BUGGIN' ME!"

Gee pretended not to hear this outburst and got up to get some coffee. Maybe he could catch Delia before she left the lab and get a little time alone, AWAY from the green yellow eyed monster.

As he poured the coffee he spoke to Jay, "I think things are going to work out great, Delia and I are _really_ hitting it off! Hmm…D and Gee. Hey, I even match with my…_new partner._"

Jay watched as R's nails raked across the metal table, leaving thin streaks as they went. It was pretty obvious that Gee was getting R steamed. And dumb luck Jay had managed to get himself caught playing referee.

The Worm Guys were filling the coffee maker with yet another exotic coffee flavor while continued to ramble on about his 'new partner'.

"I'm sure happy I took this job…One day I'm Greg Prefect and the next I'm here with _Del_," Greg looked directly at R as he used Delia's nickname.

R was muttering threats towards Gee under his breath as the coffee maker dinged.

Gee proceeded to pour himself a cup and then thought aloud, "I ought to get a cup for my partner while I'm at it."

"She _DOESN'T _drink coffee!!!" R yelled. Gee smirked and turned to leave.

Passing the table where the two agents were sitting Gee took a bottled water from the refrigerator, "Thanks for telling me. I'd hate to offer her a beverage she doesn't drink."

Jay scooted away from R as his green skin reddened. "Cool down pal, Gee's just trying to get to ya."

"Well he's not going to get _MY _partner!" R exclaimed loudly in hopes that Gee would hear him all the way down the hall.

Shaking his head Jay cautioned him, "If you keep shooting off your mouth and giving him tips like you just did…He just might."

******

Fatail snuck into one of the large computer labs in HQ. It had been all too easy to get past the other agents. All she'd had to do was babble on about how she was Agent R's girlfriend and wanted to catch up on her _honey bun's _history since he'd joined the ranks.

Naturally no one had wanted to hear her go into detail about their intimate relationship so they'd simply let her pass on by. This was too easy.

After a short series of rapid key clicks she had hacked her way into the secured files of the agency. "Jackpot." she grinned as file after file of superior technology, extraterrestrial strengths and weaknesses, and valuable chemical formulas appeared on the screen.

"Now to download you to this disc," she said aloud as she placed a disc in the drive. "Come to mama."

"Excuse me," a stern yet irritating voice came from behind her. Fatail spun around and came face to face with…

"Who are you?"

"U." the man answered.

"Very funny." Fatail scoffed, "But you don't strike me as a humorous kinda guy. Now stiff, what's your name?"

"I'm afraid it's YOU that needs to identify yourself," U replied, "and I just told you, my name's U."

Fatail narrowed her eyes, then remembered her cover, "I'm Fatail, Agent R's girlfriend."

"I'm sorry ma'am but the MIB doesn't allow civilians of any species to go snooping around headquarters unsupervised. Your _boyfriend_ should know that by now."

"But I wasn't snooping," Fatail changed her tone to a more innocent one, "I was just trying to find out a little more about my sweet green knight R, you know, tomorrow would be our sixth month anniversary," Fatail turned on the charm and hid her face in her hands, "if he hadn't run out on me to take this job!"

U watched as the female burst into fake tears. "Um…well…" like most guys, U couldn't stand to see a girl cry.

"I loved him so much!" Fatail whimpered, "And I still do! I was just hoping to find some answers! To see what my burly protector's been up to all these months! I just feel like we've grown so far apart!!!"

U searched his person before finally finding a handkerchief, handing it to Fatail he relented. "Uh…well, this is highly unusual. But I guess you could search R's files. After all, you DID know him before he joined us so maybe we could bend just this one rule."

Satisfied that this had stopped her crying U turned and headed out the door.

Fatail wiped away the last of her phony tears and smiled triumphantly after the agent, "Sucker."

________________________________________________________________________


	5. Part 5

Things Couldn't get any worse: From Aron and Amanda

  
Part 5: From Aron  
  
-------------  
  
Agent R walked down the hall thinking about everything that had been   
happening. Things were not good at all. He paused and thought about   
what Jay had said. R figured he might as well keep his mouth shut. He   
didn't want to make Gee's task any easier. R continued walking and   
sighed. He missed his partner already. His memory flashed back to the   
day he first laid eyes on her. Agent X was in the process of making   
things hard and then he caught something out of the corner of his   
eye. The human who made him happiest. Del.   
  
  
Quickly, the vision of Gee flooded his thoughts, and every move the   
human made infuriated him more. The way Gee spoke, the way he acted,   
moved, and the way he acted like he had won the human over--- all   
made R angry. R didn't notice anything lurking in headquarters.   
  
  
Alpha… as usual, had no trouble getting into HQ. He was always one   
step ahead of the MIB and no matter what security measures were   
taken, he could always get inside the building system with great   
ease. It seemed folly for the MIB to even try any more. They simply   
weren't able to comprehend how genius he was. Alpha loved telling   
himself these things. He knew they were true, and when things came so   
easy--- why wouldn't it be true? Alpha used the latest technology he   
had picked up. He was invisible. Well… invisible was almost putting   
it right. He was reflective. Invisibility couldn't be achieved for   
what Alpha had in mind, but so far, this was good enough. A long as   
he didn't come into contact in the direct path of a focused source of   
light, he was undetectable by eye. Sensors could pick him up all they   
wanted… but there would be no conformation in time. Alpha knew   
exactly what he wanted. He had been watching headquarters for some   
time now. Not too long ago, they had hired some new--- employees.   
Agents, an alien agent… and a harebrained scientist who did a job of   
causing trouble better than helping. He was crazy to some… but Alpha   
knew better. He knew that this crazy doctor had created some   
particularly interesting inventions. He was almost genius in some   
senses. Dr. Zan'dozz Zeeltor. Alpha grinned to himself as he recalled   
some of the inventions he wouldn't have minded having. Alpha was   
making his way down to the lab to pick up some things. He hoped he   
could find the one invention that would bring unspeakable power. 

  
  
  
---Agent Gee stood there holding a stack of files. He kept an eye out   
for that meddling agent R. He knew it peeved the agent whenever he   
was seen with Delia. He loved getting a rise out of some people.   
Agent R looked to be particularly easy to anger so Gee told himself   
he'd have to take his time with that one. Gee yawned. Life as the   
most perfect guy wasn't too hard. Whenever he could have fun with it--  
- he seized the opportunity.   
  
Gee looked up as R entered the area. Immediately, R's eyes narrowed   
on the human. Gee shifted the papers under one arm and put an arm   
around Delia who was looking through a folder.   
"Good day…. Agent R." said Gee.   
"Can it." said R. Delia turned sharply.   
"R! Show some manners!" she said. R bit his lip. He had upset   
his precious human. If Jay would have been there, he would have made   
the sound of a dive-bomb and crash. It was a stupid move so early on.   
"Yes, R… you must have better people skills." Said Gee. R   
growled under his breath. That was something that would have been   
said to Agent X… NOT to R.---  
  
  
---Alpha carefully pawed through the lab. He didn't find what he   
wanted. He looked through boxes, on shelves, in storage areas, and it   
struck him to check the paperwork. He dug around until he came to the   
cabinet of recent experimental technology. It was worth a try. Sure   
enough, Alpha hit the proverbial jackpot. He found the rough   
schematics of the technology in question. He quickly put the papers   
down on the table and ran a hand scanner over them. Perfect.   
"Now… where oh where can these little microchips be?" he   
questioned himself. He looked through a paper that was stuck to the   
back of one of the others. He grumbled as soon as he realized that   
the technology was already in use. It had already been placed. Things   
were going to be hard. He looked over the paperwork of who now   
possessed the technology. He was about to move the papers back when   
he heard something.   
  
Whistling. Cheerful whistling. Quickly, Alpha dropped the papers to   
the table and quietly shifted to the back wall of the lab. He watched   
as Dr. Zeeltor walked in with a scanner and some files. He placed his   
scanner down and put the files away. He picked up a petri dish from a   
shelf and happily talked to it. Alpha wanted to laugh but refrained   
from letting himself be seen… or heard.   
"So how's my sweetie pie Lucy?" asked Zeeltor of the petri   
dish. Something in the dish roared. It didn't sound happy. Zeeltor   
stopped walking when he got the reply from his beloved pet.   
"What's that? Something here?" he questioned as he looked   
around. "I don't see anything…" said Zeeltor again. Alpha cursed   
under his breath. That stupid petri dish could sense him? It was   
always something. Alpha slowly made his way to the open door. The   
petri dish roared louder now. Zeeltor looked around. He still saw and   
heard nothing.   
"There there, Lucy. There's nothing to worry about." Said   
Zeeltor. While Zeeltor reassured Lucy, Alpha made his exit.   
  
Zeeltor moved across the lab and placed the dish down on one table so   
he could clean up a pile of things on another. As he straightened   
things out, he noticed a file was out of the cabinet of   
experiments. "What do we have here?" asked Zeeltor of himself as he   
looked at it. "The Supersensory Amplification Microtechnology?" he   
said. "What are YOU doing out of your file!" he said cheerfully as if   
it was nothing but mislaid paperwork. He gathered the files up and   
put them together. On the top was the paperwork of the subject of the   
experiment. A picture was paper clipped to the separated file. The   
photo was of Agent R's partner: Agent Delia.----  
  
  
---Agent R was careful now, and he managed to deal out sly hit   
remarks as well--- if not better than Gee. He was playing the game   
well. 

  
"Well… I know I can take comfort in one thing…" began Agent   
R. 

  
"And what would that be?" Gee asked.

  
"You're nothing more than a lowly rookie. A newbie. A   
Greenhorn." He said. He knew his words hit their target. Gee and R   
were standing back from Delia, who was looking through an expansive   
file unit on the wall. Gee narrowed his eyes but then knew how to   
exact revenge. 

  
"She's mine… and you know it." said Gee proudly. 

  
"Oh she and Elle may gawk over you… but it's nothing more   
than a façade. You, a human, would know that humans usually grow   
tired of looking at the same, old thing after a while. It's only a   
matter of time." Said R. Gee pulled a pen from his pocket. He   
carefully tossed it into the air. It landed beside Del. 

  
"Oh, Del… I dropped my pen… could you get it for me?" asked   
Gee innocently. Without a second thought, Del knelt to pick it up.   
Her hair hung in her face and R's memory pulled him back to the first   
time he got close to the human. She was looking over something on a   
table. Her hair caught the light and R's heart melted just a little   
faster. She stood up and time slowed as she flipped her hair out of   
her face and carried the pen back to Gee, who happily took it from   
her.

  
"Here you go, Gee." She said. Her heart fluttered. She and Elle had   
been gawking at him all through coffee break. He took her hand in   
both of his as she handed him the pen. 

  
"Thanks." He said. She smiled and slowly turned to go back to work.   
Gee turned to R and a grin crept across Gee's face to see R's blood   
boil. Gee figured the timing was perfect. Time to be just a little   
more clever. He pulled a manila envelope from the paperwork he   
had. "Oh, Del… I found something for you." He said. She came over and   
took the envelope with a puzzled look on her face. She opened it and   
inside was a comic book in a plastic thincase. She pulled it out of   
the envelope and her face lit up. 

  
"Oh, Gee! It's a copy of `The creature that came from the East   
River'! And it's SIGNED too!" she chirped. She wrapped both arms   
around Gee. R was able to see past his partner's golden hair to the   
pleased look Gee had on his face. ---  
  
---Alpha watched the scene unfold. He decided to wait until his   
target was alone.---  
  
---Agent R stormed into the lab. Jay was there messing around with   
some things, like he shouldn't have been. Zeeltor examined some   
stolen technology Kay and Jay had recovered earlier. 

  
"I can't STAND it!" yelled R. Jay sighed. He figured things were not   
going well at all for the agent. 

  
"Do I want to know what happened?" asked Jay. Zeeltor looked up from   
his studies. 

  
"He's trapping me in conversation so I look bad to Delia. He's   
ruining everything! Him and that stupid woman that's following me!"   
he continued. "Gee knows exactly what to do to get to get to me! He   
made her pick up his pen, and I know he was looking at her!!" R   
began. Jay laughed. "THEN he took her hand, and after that--- he gave   
her a comic book. HOW DID HE KNOW ABOUT THE COMIC BOOKS!?" yelled R   
in angered puzzlement. 

  
"I didn't tell him." Said Jay. "Did you let it slip out?"

  
"No.. I've kept my mouth shut about ANYTHING she likes." He said. He   
sat down and rested his head on his hand. He gestured wildly with out   
the other. He was frustrated with the whole thing. Jay laughed.

  
"Man, you have it hard, R. I don't know what to say. Gee is playing   
hardball and throwing some bad pitches."

  
"Tell me, Jay… do all humans get like this? Is it common for there to   
be such competition over a female? Are all humans so RUTHLESS?" he   
asked in search for a reason to why Gee was acting this badly. 

  
"Well, R… I guess in some cases, things get like this. Some women are   
like--- wow, and guys will do almost anything to get them… but in   
your case, I think Gee likes to make you mad."

  
"He's doing a darn good job!" yelled R. "All he has to do is put an   
arm around her and I want to take an icer and freeze him! He does   
everything perfectly and he manages to trip me up while he's doing   
it! HE'S TOO PERFECT!!" he continued. Zeeltor looked up again.

  
"I'd take it you're speaking of the new agent---Gee." Said Zeeltor.

  
"Yeah--- can you tell me anything, Zeeltor?" asked R. 

  
"Well… all I can say is he is perfect." Said Zeeltor. "He got top   
scores on the usual tests as well as the weapons tests the MIB gives   
to potential agents and as a human, he's a rarity." Said Zeeltor. He   
looked at Jay. "You, on the other hand… "

  
"Don't you even start with me." said Jay. 

  
"What's this about you shooting a `little Tiffany'?" asked Zeeltor. 

  
"It was cardboard." Said Jay. "And it was the best target at the   
time!" said Jay. R sighed.

  
"Perfect. That's impossible." Said R. "He's perfect and he's going to   
get my Del?" asked R of himself. 

  
"Speaking of Agent Delia… I found some paperwork lying around   
earlier. It pertained to her. Lucy was really upset too. I couldn't   
figure out why." He said. He pulled the file out and handed it to   
Jay. 

  
"Hey that's the paperwork for the microteco—microtecno--- the little   
microchips you tested on her." He said. He laughed. "Boy am I GLAD it   
wasn't me for a change."

  
"The Microtechnology would have been a positive thing for you, Agent   
Jay. It was far from the `Swiss Army Man' incident." Zeeltor added.   
Jay grumbled. 

  
"Hmm?" said R. 

  
"These are the papers for the supersensory amplification   
microtechnological chips I designed and created. Your partner has   
them, R." said Zeeltor. "Hmm… I wonder why these files were out. It's   
like someone wanted to look for…"

  
"DEL!" yelled R. "Lucy was upset, was she not?" asked R. Zeeltor   
nodded.

  
"It was like something was in here but I didn't find or see   
anything." Said Zeeltor. 

  
"Oh no--- " began R. He got up to find his partner. "She's in   
trouble." He said as he ran out the door. Jay looked at Zeeltor and   
got up to follow.---  
  
--- Gee and Delia were walking to Zed's office. Something followed   
them. That something was Alpha.   
  
They entered Zed's office with some paperwork. The worms carefully   
shuffled out after having been reprimanded for stealing office   
supplies, leaving the office door open. Perfect.   
  
"Here's the files you wanted sir." Said Gee. "In alphabetical   
order, reverse alphabetical, and pig-latin." He added. Zed was   
impressed.

  
"You know, you're doing a really good job. I hope to make you   
a permanent agent soon." Said Zed. 

  
"Oh, I know who I want to be my partner…" began Gee. As he   
opened his mouth to speak again, Agent R burst in. 

  
"Delia!" he yelled. Zed looked up.

  
"Agent R… don't you have some files to take care of?" he   
asked.

  
"Zed--- there's…" began R. Before he could explain the threat   
he discovered, something picked up a chair in the room. Zed saw the   
chair leave the floor. It then flew straight at him. Zed ducked and   
the chair went through the plate glass wall behind him. He turned to   
see the glass wall had been destroyed. Agent Jay rushed in but an   
unseen force picked him up and tossed him aside. The agents looked   
but saw nothing. It then picked up agent Delia and headed out the   
door. 

  
"Hold on Del!" yelled R. As he reached for his weapon,   
something struck him and sent him flying out the door. R's partner   
was hauled out of the room. 

  
"Okay--- SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!" she yelled. Gee ran out the   
door and looked. There was nothing THERE but, something was doing   
things. Gee was looking when he saw something flash. There was a   
reflection of light. Perfect.  
  
Gee too his sidearm and took aim at where he had seen the flicker of   
light. He fired.  
  
The form made itself known. The energy hit it's target and they heard   
a yell. Now they saw something. The reflectivity device Alpha was   
wearing had been hit and it flickered on and off. R, still dazed from   
hitting the hallway wall looked up.

  
"Alpha!" he yelled. The device he had used for reflectivity   
finally broke and they could see the monster they were after.   
  
  
Fatail looked up from the computer she sat at when she heard   
yelling.

  
"I'd better make this a little faster…" she said to herself,   
hoping they'd all be distracted enough to not bother her.  
  
  
Alpha turned to face them. He moved close to Agent R, who had called   
out his name. R reached for his sidearm and took aim. Alpha held his   
partner up in front of him.

  
"Care to try that now, agent?" asked Alpha. 

  
"R! SHOOT!" yelled Del. R refrained from firing.

  
"I thought not." Said Alpha as he turned to leave. As he   
turned around, he was face to face with Gee, who was holding one of   
Zeeltor's weaponry inventions. The Resizafier. Before Alpha could   
make another move, Gee fired and Alpha was no longer the giant   
monster he had been. He now was tiny.   
  
Gee closed the containment jar and held Alpha up.  
"Yeah, Zed… I don't think we'll have anything to worry about   
from him anymore." Said Gee as he handed the jar to Zed. Zed couldn't   
have been any happier.   
  
Gee helped Del up and she wrapped his arms around him.

  
"MY HERO!" she said. R, standing not to far away, could NOT   
believe what was going on. Jay walked over with a sore arm. R was   
babbling.

  
"How could that--- what just---- how could he have--- WHERE   
did he get that?!" asked R. Jay shrugged.

  
"Zeeltor's right. He is a good agent." Said Jay. As Jay   
finished, Fatail came around a corner and began her act. 

  
"Oh baby, are you okay sweetie?" said Fatail. "I hope you   
aren't hurt!" she continued. R grumbled.

  
"THAT'S IT!" yelled R. "Can things get any worse than this?!"  
  



	6. Part 6

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse By: Delia and Amanda

Part Six: By Amanda

R was furious, how the heck did Gee manage to constantly upstage him? And in front of Del of all people?!?

And worst of all he had this intergalactic floozy (unknown to R--actually the leader of the toughest female gang in the galaxy!) hanging off of him day and night! He wished she'd just disappear!!

Struggling to breathe with Fatail's arms wrapped tightly around his neck he followed Jay and the others down to the containment area to watch the dreaded archenemies of the MIB, Alpha, be put away for good. 

R rolled his eyes, just how long did these agents plan to applaud that stuck up rookie for getting in a lucky shot. And if he saw Gee embrace Delia one more time he'd…

Zed called for attention before R could complete his thought. The alien cringed as his boss proceeded to lavish praise on Agent Gee who was standing by him holding Delia's waist. "And if it weren't for the fast thinking of Agent Gee, things would have been devastating for headquarters. He saved many lives--- everyone who was in my office... Kay, Jay, R…" R shot Gee a look that said he was anything but grateful, "and perhaps the planet."

Gee was thoroughly enjoying this. Especially when he noticed the look of rage and envy on the green agent's face. Oh it was sweet to be perfect. Not only did he save the day--all by himself--but he got the girl too!

Zed patted the smug agent on the shoulder and laughed, "Wed throw a ticker tape parade son... but we're the MIB."

"That's alright Sir," Gee tightened his grip around Del, "I've got all the thanks I need---right here."

That did it, if R didn't get the heck out of there Mr. Perfect was gonna leave containment short about ten teeth!

In his anger R had failed to notice that Fatail had somehow pried herself off of him and slipped away. Now that he noticed he really didn't care. She was off pestering someone else, that was good enough for him.

Up in Zed's office Fatail was hacking into Zed's files. "It's amazing what a girl can do once she sits her mind to something, and gets the right dupe to take the rap!"

Top secret information from all over the universe was now literally at her fingertips. Security codes, blueprints, weaponry, criminal backgrounds, treaty negotiations, the loot never ceased! All she had to do now was save it all to one tiny disc.

Chuckling darkly she pulled the disc from it's drive and took out a powder case, "Have the crew ready the transporter, I'm through here. And once it leaks out where I got this from, the MIB will be through too!"

R had escaped the droves of admirers that had gathered to be graced by Gee's presence and was now stalking up to Zed's office to deposit a few stacks of paperwork on his desk.

"Ugh, I can't stand him! What's that lowdown pretty boy got that I haven't got?!" R grumbled, "Okay, so he's handsome, strong, probably richer than the Worm Emperor, and oh right, now he's even got MY PARTNER!!!"

Fatail was caught off guard as R barged into the office. He caught her red handed with the disc, a communicator, and one heck of a guilty look.

"I KNEW IT!" he shouted, dropping the paperwork.

Fatail dropped her communicator and pulled out her blaster, "I think you're taking our relationship far too seriously hon, it's getting to where I can't even get a moment's peace without you."

"Drop the act Fatail…if that's your REAL name." R shot back. "Now I have proof that you're up to no good!"

Fatail raised the blaster and aimed it at R, "Sorry 'sweetie', but I can't have any MIBs after me. This little disc is gonna rocket my gang all the way up to the top!"

R froze as the blaster was fixed on him. 'Way to go R,' he gulped to himself, 'I've really done it now!'

________________________________________________________________________


	7. Part 7

Things Can't Get Any Worse

Part 7 by Aron and Amanda  
  
Fatail was about to pull the trigger on her blaster when someone   
opened the door and walked in. It was Agent Delia.

  
"I swear, if we don't chill on doing so much paperwork, we'll run   
out of trees on this planet!" she complained. "…Get five minutes to   
celebrate the capture of Alpha and we're back to deforesting Earth…"   
she continued. R and Fatail both watched speechless as she came in   
lugging paperwork. The human looked up and saw Fatail standing over   
Zed's desk. A blaster in one hand, a data disc in the other. Delia's   
eyes narrowed and she knew the alien was up to no good. 

  
"Del!" yelled R. He was ignored by his human partner. Del dropped   
the paperwork and glared at Fatail.

  
"Hold it RIGHT there!" she yelled. Fatail pulled the blaster from   
R's path and aimed it at the human. Things happened fast. Agent Delia   
nearly dove over Zed's desk to tackle Fatail, but before she could   
even get close enough to grab the weapon from the alien's grasp,   
Fatail fired. Agent Delia was thrown back by the weapon's blast. She   
hit the floor with a sickening thud. Fatail held her blaster up,   
blew the smoke away from the energy discharge chamber and smiled. She   
morphed back to her original form and held the shining data disc up.   
She casually headed for the open door, walking around Zed's desk. In   
a moment's flicker, Fatail had left the room and made her way into   
the hallway of aliens and agents, and prepared to make her   
departure. She was getting away scott free. Agent R had frozen right   
then and there and didn't know what to make of the scene before him.   
He was in shock. Immediately thereafter, his senses started coming   
back and he looked down at the floor to seen his partner laying   
there… bleeding. He yelped as he fell to his knees and tried to   
assess the damage. No one was around.

  
"HELP! SOMEONE! ANYONE!" yelled R. No one heard him. They were all   
busy celebrating Agent Gee and the capture of Alpha. R spent a split   
second cursing Agent Gee for not being there to protect his partner.   
He took the human for granted and now she was on the floor…   
dying. "NO…. no no no…." thought R at the word `dying' in his head.   
R tried to pick her up but she was really hurt. "Del? Can you hear   
me?" he asked her. She opened her eyes and looked around. They were   
still in Zed's office. 

  
"R…" she began. 

  
"Yes??" he questioned eagerly.

  
"Do NOT let me bleed on the carpet!" she yelled at him. "This is   
ZED'S OFFICE and I will not be responsible for making….. ANOTHER   
MESS of it!" she continued.

  
"WHAT!?" he asked. "I think this is a LITTLE more explainable than   
SHARKS!" he yelled. Delia began to cough. "HANG ON!" said R. He   
pulled his communicator from his jacket. He tried to contact   
someone. No one answered. R didn't hear his partner's complaints. 

  
"I'm going to get yelled at for this… I know it…" said Delia. "And   
I can kiss the perfect cream-colored carpeting in here goodbye…." 

  
"NOOOOO…. You wont…." Began R. He became frustrated with the   
communicators. "ZEELTOR!" yelled R to himself. "Zeeltor can fix   
this! I am SURE OF IT!" he continued. Delia's eyes opened wide.

  
"No way!" she said. "He's crazy!" she added. R ignored her as   
Zeeltor answered the communicator. 

  
"Zeeltor! It's--- we have a problem with---" he began. 

  
"GOOOOOOOD day agent R." said Zeeltor cheerily.

  
"Get up here to Zed's office now! She's dying!" yelled R. Zeeltor   
was marginally puzzled but he closed the connection and immediately   
headed to Zed's office. 

  
Zeeltor walked in and found Agent R kneeling over Agent Delia. R   
leaned back and Zeeltor saw the human had been hit with a blaster.   
"We'll have to move quickly." he said as the other agents filtered in.  
  
"What happened?" demanded Zed. R looked up. 

  
"Zed! It's Fatail---- she was a shapeshifting criminal and she's   
stolen some information…" he began. Zed opened his communicator.

  
"Seal off Headquarters immediately!" yelled Zed. R held his partner   
in his arms as Agent Gee entered the office in a rush, followed by   
Kay.

  
"Good thing you're here..." said Zed. Kay stepped forward to get the   
latest information from Zed. Zed spoke, looking past even his best   
agent... Agent Kay, for someone to take care of the criminal. Kay   
stepped back and folded his arms as he heard the head of the MIB talk   
to the latest rookie as if he were seasoned with thirty years of   
service. Granted, the kid HAD captured Alpha... it didn't set right   
with Kay. "We have a shapeshifter in the building. It was the alien   
that claimed she knew R. She has vital information on disc and it HAS   
to be recovered---" said Zed. 

  
"Yes, Sir...." said Agent Gee. "I'll stop her." he added as he looked   
down at Agent Delia. Agent R looked up and snapped at the   
human. "Back off and make some room... You couldn't even be there to   
watch your partner's back!" he yelled. Agent Gee had frozen at the   
sight of blood. He became light-headed and passed out on the floor.   
All the others looked over at the almighty brave agent. Kay coughed   
obviously. Zed looked at his agent. The one who had been there   
practically from the start. Kay.

  
"Kay... go get her." he said. Kay nodded and pulled his sidearm out   
of his jacket and swiftly headed out the door. R saw the black form   
vanish and turned back as he heard something. It was Del.  
  
"R," she said faintly, "come closer." R knelt down closer over the   
pale figure in his arms, "Closer," she insisted. 

  
"I'm here." he whispered, "What is it Del?" he asked. Some of the   
other agents had quieted down. Jay hung his head at seeing the look   
on R's face as soon as he had walked in.

  
"R, I-I don't know how to tell you this but..." Delia searched for   
just the right words. R's heart stopped. Was he going to hear what   
he had hoped to hear from the moment he had laid eyes on her? Did she   
really, honestly love him? He listened closely to her.

  
"Yes?" he asked. She stumbled to speak, but finally got it out.

  
"The anchovies...they're not from Earth!" she said. Her eyes fell   
closed. 

  
"Del? DEL?!" he begged. He looked up to Zeeltor in desperation. The   
alien activated a scanner. 

  
"Agent R...." he said quietly. "Your partner has lost an excessive   
amount of blood..." he began. He took the human's wrist. "I'm sorry   
but... she's passed." he finished. R shook his head. 

  
"No...." he said. He looked up to see Zeeltor had too hung his   
head. "NO--- it can't be!" he continued. "No... No..."

  
"R..." said Zeeltor. R held his partner and noticed she was totally   
limp now. He looked up at the ceiling... looking almost past the   
ceiling as if there was anything to see. He grew loud now. 

  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" he yelled. 

________________________________________________________________________  
  



	8. Part 8 Ending

Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

Part 8

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" yelled Agent R. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he   
continued. Everyone looked at him.   
"See?" asked Zed. "Now there's someone who agrees with   
me. Agent R doesn't seem to think we need to hire any more agents."   
He finished. Lyndon crossed two of his arms.   
  
Agent Delia smacked her partner with a folder. He yelped.  
  
"AHHHH!!!" he hollered.   
  
"R! YOU'RE GONNA GET US IN TROUBLE!" she growled through   
her teeth.   
  
"Wha----what happened??" he asked as he sat up in his   
chair. He looked around. Zed and Lyndon were arguing and other agents   
were either just waking up from a nap during the meeting or just   
looking at R. He laughed nervously. He looked around and saw his   
partner angrily glaring at him. Zed and Lyndon finished arguing and   
the meeting ended. The agents got up and began filing out. As soon as   
R got up, Del hit him again with her folder.   
  
"You know half the times I get in trouble… I think it's   
your fault, and this is one of them!" she continued. R didn't say   
anything. He wrapped his arms around her. She just stood there with a   
questioning look on her face. She coughed. "Uh… R? I can't breathe…"   
she said. R started happily babbling.   
  
"You're alive!" he said. "You're alive! You're alive!   
You're alive!" he continued.   
  
"Yeah… and if you don't let go, I'm not going to stay   
this way for long!" she said. R didn't hear. He just continued to hug   
his partner. Agent ran into them. He had fallen asleep during the   
meeting. He laughed as he saw the disgusted and annoyed look on Del's   
face. R's partner pushed him away. "You're crazy, you know that?" she   
asked.   
  
  
  
  
  
The next day began like every other had before it. R happily woke up   
to see everything was as it should be: normal. He got up and smiled   
at the framed picture on the desk in his living quarters. He knew   
she'd kill him for having such a silly picture.  
  
  
  
Agent R whistled as he made his way down the hallway. A grin crossed   
his face, and things couldn't have been any better. He continued to   
walk down the hall where he ran into his partner.   
  
"What are YOU so happy about?" she asked.   
  
"Why shouldn't I be happy?" he asked. She raised an   
eyebrow.   
  
"We have ANOTHER meeting, that's why!" she said. R   
pretended to take the news in a bad way. He didn't care… he would   
gladly sit in a meeting forever as long as he was near his partner.   
  
  
  
  
  
The two arrived down on the main floor to find many of the other   
agents there along with Zed.   
  
"Agents, yesterday's meeting--- for all those that   
managed to stay AWAKE for it--- brought up the issue of hiring agents   
as needed for busier times. It's come to my attention we needed some   
assistance, so I've brought in another agent." He said. R was busy   
daydreaming and had the silly look on his face whenever he did so.   
Zed continued. "The newest agent to this post of the MIB is…" he   
began. R sighed as he looked at his partner. In the background, he   
heard Zed talking about hiring some new agent or something.   
Everything focused on Zed when he continued to speak. "The newest   
agent to this post of the MIB is… Agent Gee." He said. The other   
agents nodded. R bolted out of his daydream. He couldn't believe his   
ears.  
  
"Wha!?" he asked loudly. Delia sighed. She hit him in the   
arm with her folder.  
  
"Pay attention more, R!" she said. "Zed said: Agent Gee!"   
she finished. R looked around frantically. He expected to see his   
worst nightmare walk in. In a panic and in fear of Agent Gee, R   
yelled.   
  
"AAHHHH! NOOOOOO! NOT GEE!!!!" he yelled as he took off   
running like a man insane.   
  
  
  
A middle-aged woman walked forward as R took off down the hall in a   
panic.  
  
"I wonder what his problem is---" she said aloud with a   
laugh. It was Agent Gee.   
  
"Welcome to the New York post of MIB Headquarters." Said   
Zed. "You'll get used to--- outbursts--- like that…" he began.   
  
"… Or you'll have a psychotic episode!" joked Jay. Agent   
Delia sighed.   
  
"I don't know what's been wrong with him!" she said. "I   
swear, with that and the paperwork… Things just can't get any worse."   
She finished.   
  
  
  
Fin.   



End file.
